saintcheney: (mj: dangerous gif)
[personal profile] saintcheney
In honor of the Writer's Block question, I'm going to post some profile highlights from the world of internet dating, which like I said, I mock as a hobby. I am a bad person and I should feel bad, whatever.

I will present these with little to no commentary, because there is nothing I can say that can enhance the following excerpts. I would only detract.

With that said...

"I have a Godly glow that started a couple of years ago. It draws people to me like moths to a flame. The glow makes men want to me my best friend and women often confuse my glow for lust or attraction. I am celibate and trying to wait for THE ONE."

"My words are very powerful. FRIENDS FIRST Please! If you communicate with me for very long it will be natural for you to develop feelings of love for me."

"I love kids and cannot wait to have a family of my own. And, my mom can't wait"
This is not the way to get a girl to like you, do you realize that? No. You don't.

"Remember, what you read below are the specifics of what I'm looking for in a spouse."
And it goes on for three full screens of tiny, tiny text.
What the heck, this crap needs credited!
See here:

"Within the next year I'll be taking the money I save to go to a technical school to work as a sound engineer or somthing to that degree. I have a lot of ambitions, the trick is to figure out which ones are mine, and which ones are God's actual plan for me. I play City of Heroes a LOT."
TL;DR: I don't do anything. At. All.

"I'm currently in the midst of a divorce (the paperwork is ready to be filed, finally), my wife and i were married for 8 years and together for 12 years. It has drug out for a while for a couple of reasons: #1 we are staying friends, and as such, are doing a dissolution and doing all of the paperwork ourselves with no legal assistance, so we had to pull together quite a bit of stuff. And since we are friends, we felt no real sense of urgency. #2 I'm on her health insurance, and I could not get any through my work, so I'm sure I have drug my heels a bit because of that too."

"The most important thing ____ is looking for in a person: The top and most important that I am looking for are as follows; 1. Christian 2. Has a good steady job/career or going toward one!! 3. Not living with or off of parents! 4. Responsible person 5. Good communicator (Listen as well as talk in balance) 6. Compassionate 7. Honest 8. Independent - Don't want a stay at home wife 9. Emotionally available 10.Understands at least a little bit of medical (to understand my life) 11.Likes to Dance or wants to learn 12.Around my height, or shorter, with an athletic to average build"

Honey, that's TWELVE things. It's TWELVE. (And you're not such a catch yourself).

And... when I try to find these things, I can't.
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saintcheney: (Default)

December 2012

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